I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
