I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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