My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
All I want is dick and wine.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
