People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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