This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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