I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize