As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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