So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
