Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I understand Curling. That high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
