Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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