Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
