I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
