im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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