Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
