Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
