let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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