Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
