What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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