Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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