I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
