i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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