Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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