You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
