I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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