apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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