I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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