I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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