I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
