dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
