they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
