you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
