Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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