I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
