captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize