erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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