Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
