Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
