So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
