I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
