I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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