i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize