his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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