He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
