Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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