How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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