I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
