Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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