Non-Jews are for practice
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
