I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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