hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
