Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
