My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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