I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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