i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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