I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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