Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
NoShamevember. You game?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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